A Star from Mosul

I don't know what to do.. I'm just sitting here, infront of the computer. I've just realized that I've sent a letter to 10 persons (by mistake) and didn't mention what it was all about! So, excuse me if you didn't understand anything..

I've got too many messages the last couple of days, and the number of visitors is getting higher too, although usually, when it's Saturday, few people come because of the week-end. It's weird, and I feel like I have to say some stuff for whoever is coming, probably to see if I voted.

I didn't vote, neither I will. Why? I'm 16, er. Not old enough to vote, I'm taking advantage of my age, always.. And because it's not safe at all :

Elections in Iraq are scheduled for Sunday. Terrorists are busy distributing leaflets, which threaten to kill or maim anyone who votes. One note left at a polling place vowed to wash the streets with voters’ blood...

But officials are still hopeful that 50 percent of eligible voters will show up. Even if 40 percent turn out, that would still be a higher percentage than in many American elections.

It seems Iraqis living abroad are not quite as brave as their brothers and sisters in Iraq are expected to be. Only 10 percent of the eligible Iraqis in this country have registered to vote so far and the turnout worldwide has been far lower than expected.

MSNBC's question of the day (Scroll down to see the results) shows that only 38 percent of people surveyed said they would risk their lives to vote if they were Iraqis. That’s easier said than done, so that number might actually be a lot lower.

Whatever you think about the war effort, it’s an amazing moment in history. Iraqis will literally be risking their lives to have their voices heard, to participate in a form of government some of us just take for granted.

So, what do you think? I'm kind of trying to calm down, I'm feeling guilty for not going.. But, would I really be happy if I voted?

Those marks of freedom, you know about them! Neurotic wife had one.. Here's a good thought about it:

thanks to the stupidity of the election commission, is that the indelible ink on the hands of voters will stay for a few days. So if some terrorist really wants to murder voters he doesn't have to do it on Election Day. He can just wait until the security cordon clears and then "inspect" fingers at random and murder at will.

Now, let's find another excuses.. Well, dad is sick, and we'll have to go to the elections centers (Which are all schools by the way) on foot because of the curfew! And:

Apparently, a democracy is a place where numerous elections are held at great cost without issues and with interchangeable candidates.
Gore Vidal

And:

Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Ambrose Bierce

And:

We'd all like to vote for the best man but he's never a candidate.
Kin Hubbard

I wonder why wise men didn't like voting! Search for quotes encouraging us to vote.. They're very few! But the one telling us not to vote are too many that I had to choose which one to put here..

Wow, I guess convincing my self that I'm not guilty is working after all.. But I won't blow it up in the Iraqi faces. For those who can vote, Go And Vote..

So, don't be angry at me.. I have nothing to do with me not voting. (Hehehe, some Kurdish just called on my mobile.. Of course, he dialed the wrong number. He was calling his brother, he asked if everything is okay, and if I needed anything!! Nice move :) Why haven't anybody thought of voting by SMS? That would've been good.

The streets are empty today, as usual.. A police car declaring the names of the school that we can vote in came twice in our street. We can hear explosions in the distance.

I feel like a stupid person, trying to make excuses.. And failing--Maybe, I don't know..

Maybe 4 years from now, I'll go vote. Let's just pray that in 4 years things will be much better that I won't have to go through all this battle again..

Najma
PS: Don't send me messages telling me to vote.. It's not an option, not for me.

(UPDATE: Now I really am jealous.. Grandma, my aunt and my uncle voted today, they're all in Baghdad so it was easier for them..)

Hajjis have been coming back to Mosul (From Mecca) since yesterday.. We went out and watched people welcoming their relatives, two buses of Hajjis stopped in front of our house and from there, people took their relatives to their houses..
It was a nice scene to see, I stood by my neighbor and her children (Many other neighbors went out, including the Christians).. She was so affected by the scene, and her eyes were full of tears.. Tens if not hundreds of people came. First, the door of the bus opened, and wheeled chairs went out .. Then the tired, old, worried hajjis.. They were so tired and couldn't believe that they'll find all their relatives alive.

Yesterday, at 6PM, the curfew (which will last till next Tuesday) started. And unfortunately, not all the Hajjis arrived to Mosul yesterday..

Today, we have American strykers in my street, I don't know what they're doing but mom was going out to give some pancakes for the neighbors and she was face-to-face with an American so she just went back in.. She then went upstairs to the roof and delivered the pancakes from there. Our neighbor was crying because of the situation..

So, Hajjis are kind of stuck now at each others houses.. Some have called their relatives, told them to come by car, turn on all the headlights, hang flags over the car, and drive as slow as they can.. Some are going home by bicycles, with flags on the bicycles too.. Some have decided to sleep in the mosque till God knows when.

They're announcing on Mosul TV that the names of the people in the lists of the elections will be announced soon! Imagine, you have elections, you have 3 days till the elections, and you still don't know who you're going to vote for! I don't know, is this really abnormal? Or am I a little confused?

Electricity is great today, it turned on at night, and it didn't go off yet (It's now 2:55PM). I gave dad some time to spend on the computer.. He's alright as long as there's electricity, he can watch TV or work on the computer.

I'm reading "ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND", she makes me happy. She thinks a lot, and I like the way she thinks. I'm now reading chapter III..

Uncle Ahmed finally posted again.. Check out his new post: The Ultimate Voters Guide.

Hi, I'm back.. We came back to Mosul since yesterday. I and HNK agreed to have a day on computer for each in every two days, and I have to start working on my program and finish it before school starts again on the 2nd th of February. I don't know if we're going to be able to go to school on that date because it's so close to the elections, and many schools have been used as centers of elections.. I guess we can start to count how many of those will be bombed. It might be interesting for you to know that none of us got his/her voting card!! There are rumors that gunmen took them from the source.. In Baghdad they did receive them, but only very few of them got correct information about them on the card, one woman of the whole family was categorized as a female! And they say that those cards are being sold and bought (I also read about this in Riverbend's blog) .

On our way to Baghdad, we had some problems, and had to drive on an unpaved road for a long time, the whole journey took us 6 hours.. When we arrived to Baghdad, we saw a large area of land which was supposed to become a field for football before the war, and this large area has become the largest dumP in Iraq if not in the world! It just saddens how things have turned to be after the war.. Even wedding are not like they used to be, we had what we'd call Zaffa in which the groom's family drive the bride to a hotel or their house by a fancy car, they usually hoot horns in their way to make people notice the Zaffa. The Zaffa was used to be in the middle of the night (Maybe sooner, maybe later), but now, in Mosul, you see people having their Zaffas at 1 PM!! And who makes it after 4 is considered crazy.

We had lots of fun in Baghdad, and inspite of the situation and the bombing; we went shopping and had lunch in a restaurant, we visited relatives too. It was sort of, a normal Eid..

Aya got the attention of everyone, she didn't make a single move without having at least one camera taking photos of her.. She got spoiled in the few days she spent there, and then went back to Mosul with her dad and mom on the 3rd day of Eid.

The only problem we had was with water, but it got solved in few days (Not completely).. Oh, and another problem, dad had some kidney problems that he still has. I can't stand seeing him in pain, but he doesn't really show it.

I spent lots of time with Raghda and Dalia.. I had a tour in grandpa's library, which is very big, he was so happy while showing me his books (He has the complete Encyclopedia Britannica in books!) and he gave me two dictionaries and promised me of a big few-thousand-and-something-pages dictionary when I come to Baghdad next time.

Now, Aya is here, at our house, and I strangely don't love her like before.. She's grown a lot these days and I don't feel like she's the same. Scary! I'm still trying, I kissed her, and held her, but not like before!! (Update: Improvement, I started to love her a little bit).

I feel like I'm just rambling here.. I was so optimistic yesterday, I spend so much time watching the new channel that showed up when we were having our exams, my cousins came and took mom to shop for our house because we might not be able to go out when the elections start. And I saw my uncle's family who I haven't seen since the last day before Ramadan! I guess my uncle made me depressed, he's so pessimistic.. People here in Mosul should go out like they do in Baghdad, we're always at home, afraid of going out, while after all, we only live once here and everybody will die on his day.. I'm talking like dad!

The electricity improved very much in Mosul when we left for Baghdad, they even had 24 hours of electricity one day!

And every government employee got about 90$ (Or less, depending on how many years he has served) for Eid! Nice move.. This caused some increase in dad's Eidaneya (An amount of money people give to their children, nieces, and nephews for Eid).. I'm planning to buy a better cell phone for myself with my Eidaneyas..

Here's a slideshow of the last photos of Aya..

Okay, now I feel much better! This doesn't happen much, usually I get much depressed while writing the post and re-remembering what happened, but now, I feel much better.. Maybe it's the Pringles, yes, I'll eat Pringles today. With a glass of Pepsi, I'll have the best time..

Bye

I just wanted to tell you that I arrived to Baghdad after a long and hard trip.. In case you were worried..

I can't write more since I'm using my aunt's computer and my cousins are around me, including Raghda.. She's fine and worried about her lost cat :( She doesn't seem to be willing to write more because she's so sad.

Okay, good bye..
And happy eid in advance..

I'm free, I'm happy, I'm in my break!! I had the last exam today, and now, I'm in my break.. It's nice to have the messenger opened and cousins getting in and out and chatting with each other :) It's the break, let's waste time and have fun!

For me, I won't have time to waste.. We're getting ready to go to Baghdad tomorrow, and we'll take dear little Aya with us to see her daddy, who has to work till the 3rd day of eid! Rumors started spreading in Baghdad weeks ago that Aya was coming, the source was grandma!! Her wish was granted and she's going to see her grand grand daughter tomorrow.. I'll also have to work on my program in Baghdad, and we'll spend the Eid there too! This means, an exciting, full of work and happy week!

Do you remember when I talked to you about a naughty classmate I hate, the one who can manage to gather the worst words in one sentence.. She was doing so bad in school, getting very bad grades, and her mom came and moved her to another school before the exams. I'm kind of relieved, but her friends seems to be so sad about it, I dunno..

Also, being in this new class, I've been hearing too many impolite words.. Which shows that parents really do affect their children's manners, and being rich doesn't necessarily mean that you're polite.. However, being educated doesn't mean that too! Confusing!

I was reading in a school book the other day, and found this beautiful poem, unfortunately, it's in Arabic, but I'll write it anyway..


Another aunt of dad died yesterday, she's (To be more specific) his uncle's wife.. She had a heart attach 2 days before yesterday, got into the hospital the day before yesterday, and died yesterday!! She used to be very lively, and we were talking about how lively and active she was few hours before her death.. It's falling and not wanting to get up, it's hating the life we're living that didn't make her resist the pain. It's like when I fell off the stairs yesterday and lied there in pain not wanting to get up! Mom came and helped me and I went up to continue studying (Nothing broke thank God).. I had something to look up to, a break, a niece, a hopefully good future.. But she, she lived through many wars, so many relatives dying, suffered everything till she got a chance to rest that she couldn't resist not taking! How cruel life can be, how heartless people can be! Beheading a fellow human being, kidnapping your neighbor or killing your country for whatever!! Giving me more reasons to run away, to get the most education I can get so that I can live a better life somewhere, build a better future for my own family..

And now, to the critical object, the last blog from Mosul: A citizen from Mosull.. Which most of you suspected that it was written by my dad, is actually written by dad! It seems like I talk too much here that some of you already were so sure that he's dad. At first, he didn't want me to say that he was my father, so that he can be more free, but I can't hide this any more and I can't keep ignoring your e-mails about it.

We'll take two cameras with us.. And a film, maybe we can borrow a regular camera from my uncles, we haven't taken any printed photos of Aya yet. We have a camera but we didn't have time to take photos with it. Here are some of the latest digital photos of dearest Aya:





She really does know how to express her self using face emotions, doesn't she?

During the exams, a girl's aunt got killed by the Americans and I told you about it.. And shortly after that, another girl's uncle got killed by the Americans. So, I guess I'm so thankful God for keeping my family healthy and alive!! Thank you..

Wish us luck in our trip, no explosions in the way hopefully, and no closed bridges too..

I have a computer exam tomorrow, so, I have time to write now..

We're living in a MESS right now.. Things are not going well, I'm writing everything in a small diary so that I can write it to you later.

Today, I had a Chemistry exam. The bridges were closed in the morning (And still are), many students couldn't come to have the exams they had because they live in the other part of the city.. Some managed to soften the heart of the Americans by crying and came to have the exam but only an hour before the end of the exam; however, they won't be able to go back to their homes. Some others managed to come on foot.. We had the exam at last, but we don't know if we're going to have to do it again with the others later.

It seems like the Americans are losing control on everything.. They seem to be shooting everyone in their way. The guard of our school (An old man who has a difficulty hearing, and who has 9 children, and who has managed to work as a driver in his free time) got killed by the Americans with everyone who was in the car with him.. My friend's aunt got killed by the Americans too..

Also, the soldiers are still breaking into the houses of civilians. They entered some neighbors of my friend' houses and then cut all the phone lines in the street... I got worried sick about her, especially that she was too late today at school, and when we called her, the phone was ringing ad nobody answered!

I stopped taking my mobile to school, they told us that we're not allowed to bring it with us, and if we did, they won't let us have the exams. And this is just stupidity since it's really needed in such situations!