A Star from Mosul

Hatred, such a strong unhealthy feeling.. but I just can't help but hate it here.. I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT.. I want to shout it at the top of my lungs so everybody can know that I just can't stand it here.

The curfew that started at 9 PM last Friday was only temporarily stopped at 6 AM today and is going to start again at 6 PM until further notice. Yesterday upon hearing the news I couldn't believe I was going to college again.. but little by little I discovered that none of the female students is going to college and so I reluctantly decided not to go either.

Mom however was going to her college and since she was driving and going alone I wanted to go with her to get some fresh air at least.. I went down to tell her my decision but she was asleep and so I just set my alarm to 7 AM and slept.. I woke up sometime in the morning only to realize that I have failed to wake up in time, it was 8:30 and it was too late: mom is gone. There wasn't anything to do if I woke up so I closed my eyes only to be awaken by mom after what seemed like only minutes later.. it turned out to be 1 PM however!!

In college mom said they only gave them the salaries.. Students weren't even allowed to enter the university campus at first.. and when they did get it there were no lectures of course.
Students who live in the campus were told to leave to their cities..

Knowing how bored I am and that it was the only time I go out of the house (in my dreams that is) mom has stopped complaining about me waking up late thus avoiding a much expected lecture about my wanting to GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE and a probable weep that accompanies it.

So what am I doing at home? Sleeping of course, watching a little bit of TV, lots of internet aimless surfing and eating. I wanted to study but it's like there's some strong force that drives me aways from it, always telling me that there's going to be time tomorrow, which happens to be a mere silly repetition of the day before (I can't believe I actually believe this excuse either!)

Possible results of the curfew are (unless I killed myself before its end): gaining some weight, getting back to my natural skin color and I think I am going to be a claustrophobic.


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After writing this post we got visitors, only an hour before the end of the curfew.. My most favorite cousin and his wife, both of which I really love and appreciate. Then dad thought of walking to some nearby shops and since I was dressed and all, I decided to go with him.. It was good to breathe some air and see some smiling faces, and there still were some cars in the streets so it felt a bit normal. Upon returning I found HNK and mom playing badminton in the garden, I hurriedly wore my jeans and went out to play after little encouragement from mom..

In the beginning I was really bad.. and in the end I was really bad too! but there were minutes of shear excellence in between :) The element of surprise was by my side especially after many successive failures at getting the shuttlecock to fly to the other side :D
It was really so much fun and we're going to do it again tomorrow inshallah although grandma is really worried about the grass, and I'm not sure I can move my arm tomorrow..!