What's happening? and meeting Tariq Al-Hashimi!

Friday, May 23, 2008
The curfew didn't last long. Since last Thursday we've been allowed freedom of movement for 12 hours everyday (6 AM - 6 PM), and so I was able to go to college on Sunday finally.

I got my exam results and they were either equal to or more than expected.. I am very happy with them and I'm hoping it wouldn't be too hard to get excellent marks at the final as well.

I received a shipment of very good programming books for our college today (Sent by Dr. Cline) and I am going to take it to college first thing on Sunday inshallah. It was sent in 2007, it was one of the only two boxes that we thought were lost. It thus seems that packages don't get lost but rather forgotten about or altered in the way.

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On Tuesday morning mom woke me up and told me the neighborhood is surrounded and we aren't even allowed to walk outside and get to the university. I was very bothered because I had important lectures that I just can not do without.. We expected them to search the house but being four women and one man who's had a surgery recently we looked anything but suspicious and they didn't really search anything, just took a look around few rooms.

Seeing how uncomfortable I were mom told them that I had an exam that I can not miss.. the soldiers were very polite but they just wouldn't let me go. Finally however they allowed us to walk but mom had already made plans and HNK decided she wouldn't go to college and so I somehow ended up going to college with far neighbors I have never seen before. I made it to college a bit late but I didn't miss much. I was very excited and happy to have reached it that time passed so quickly and my friends were irritated when I expressed how fast it ended.

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Yesterday I was very very sleepy, the second lecture was more than a bore and I was about to fall asleep when the assistant dean came into the class and called my name, A's and K's names (both are male classmates of mine), we tried to know what he wanted from us but we couldn't understand much. There seemed to be a meeting and all we were asked to do was say it as it is. I was afraid nevertheless, I do not feel comfortable talking among a crowd but he said I didn't have to say anything unless I was asked. We waited downstairs and the number of students called for duty was increasing, it was obvious this meeting wasn't normal.. I spent about half an hour talking with A and K then I proposed the idea of calling my friend Z with us since she's diplomatic and talkative, we proposed the idea to a professor and soon he asked us to call two more students from our class. We called Z and D though the latter has very low marks unlike the rest of us who have the 4 highest marks in class but he's also talkative and is always a joy to have around.

The suspense was killing us, we were about 40 students if I am not wrong, from different stages and departments, they made us sit in a classroom and we just sat talking and making speculations of what we were about to have. Then we saw guards outside the class and we knew something important was going to happen. A suggested Tariq Al-Hashimi who came to Mosul a couple of days ago is going to meet with us but the idea seemed very strange, and having boycotted watching the news they had to explain who Tariq Al-Hashimi is to me. He turned out to be the vice president of Iraq! The idea started to sink in as the security measurements increased, they took away our mobiles, pens and just about everything. They searched us thoroughly and told us to go upstairs.

More waiting and searching.. they searched the cooler ducts, the back of the clock hanging on the wall and the bottom of the chairs the important personalities were going to sit on.. It took about an hour I think till the camera men came and following them were Tariq Al-Hashimi, the president of the university, the dean of our college, Ibrahim Al-Nie'ma and many others.

The dean of our college took a minute to introduce and welcome Al-Hashimi into the university. Then the latter asked us to present any problems we're having regarding the university and the security situation. About five students stood up and presented problems we're having, including A and Z who did a good job. They talked about the employment problems, the lack of useful lab equipments, the need for scholarships for new graduates to study abroad, the conditions in the students' residence inside campus and stuff like that. I had things to say but I didn't have the courage to stand up in front of all these people let alone in the presence of a camera.


Tariq Al-Hashimi in the middle and the president of the university on his right.. probably in the Scientific and literary forum where he met a number of professors of the university and the deans of its colleges.
Source.

The president of the university talked about the lab conditions in the two engineering colleges in the university and that they will need huge amounts of money to get them in shape and up-to-date. He also talked about how the only graduates from universities outside Iraq are the old professors only in college and how the graduates of Mosul university return back to teach in the university after graduation. It's like a loop and the consequences are not good at all. Then he started comparing our colleges with colleges abroad and the facilities they have there.


Al-Hashimi started talking afterwards about how the employment issue is not going to be solved unless bigger issues like terrorism are solved. The construction phase has not started (and can not start) yet and that will be the time we're most needed. He said it is a shame that upon graduation and spending our lives studying, the most we can dream of is a small shop where we will be using little of what we've learned, and might even start working as taxi drivers or join the police. He admits there are problems, and the solutions are obvious but there are obstructions to these and so he switched to talking about terrorism..

I was excited at first, what a post it's going to be I thought but I soon went absent-minded and didn't pay much attention! such a great journalist I am! and I kept mistaking Al-Maliki with Al-Hashimi the whole day afterwards getting few of my friends confused..

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Upon knowing the I didn't say anything, the looks of HNK and mom were torturing me. They were very disappointed by me. Just yesterday I was talking about how the students never complain about certain college problems to the professors when they ask us if anything is wrong.
I was called to the dean's room few weeks ago with two students from other departments to discuss the state of a certain lecture. I kept talking and talking and often had to force myself to stop to give the other students a chance to talk. But today was a special case, it needed more than courage, and there was actually hope for a change unlike that meeting which resulted in nothing.

I asked mom if she would've talked assuming she was put in the same situation, she said she wouldn't have but I am more courageous and must have done it. Well I just couldn't do it but if I were given a second chance, I would.. there might be a second chance, who knows!

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posted by Najma at 12:08 AM, | 11 comments

Freedom: Undefined word -- try again in few years

Thursday, May 15, 2008
Hatred, such a strong unhealthy feeling.. but I just can't help but hate it here.. I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT.. I want to shout it at the top of my lungs so everybody can know that I just can't stand it here.

The curfew that started at 9 PM last Friday was only temporarily stopped at 6 AM today and is going to start again at 6 PM until further notice. Yesterday upon hearing the news I couldn't believe I was going to college again.. but little by little I discovered that none of the female students is going to college and so I reluctantly decided not to go either.

Mom however was going to her college and since she was driving and going alone I wanted to go with her to get some fresh air at least.. I went down to tell her my decision but she was asleep and so I just set my alarm to 7 AM and slept.. I woke up sometime in the morning only to realize that I have failed to wake up in time, it was 8:30 and it was too late: mom is gone. There wasn't anything to do if I woke up so I closed my eyes only to be awaken by mom after what seemed like only minutes later.. it turned out to be 1 PM however!!

In college mom said they only gave them the salaries.. Students weren't even allowed to enter the university campus at first.. and when they did get it there were no lectures of course.
Students who live in the campus were told to leave to their cities..

Knowing how bored I am and that it was the only time I go out of the house (in my dreams that is) mom has stopped complaining about me waking up late thus avoiding a much expected lecture about my wanting to GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE and a probable weep that accompanies it.

So what am I doing at home? Sleeping of course, watching a little bit of TV, lots of internet aimless surfing and eating. I wanted to study but it's like there's some strong force that drives me aways from it, always telling me that there's going to be time tomorrow, which happens to be a mere silly repetition of the day before (I can't believe I actually believe this excuse either!)

Possible results of the curfew are (unless I killed myself before its end): gaining some weight, getting back to my natural skin color and I think I am going to be a claustrophobic.


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After writing this post we got visitors, only an hour before the end of the curfew.. My most favorite cousin and his wife, both of which I really love and appreciate. Then dad thought of walking to some nearby shops and since I was dressed and all, I decided to go with him.. It was good to breathe some air and see some smiling faces, and there still were some cars in the streets so it felt a bit normal. Upon returning I found HNK and mom playing badminton in the garden, I hurriedly wore my jeans and went out to play after little encouragement from mom..

In the beginning I was really bad.. and in the end I was really bad too! but there were minutes of shear excellence in between :) The element of surprise was by my side especially after many successive failures at getting the shuttlecock to fly to the other side :D
It was really so much fun and we're going to do it again tomorrow inshallah although grandma is really worried about the grass, and I'm not sure I can move my arm tomorrow..!

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posted by Najma at 7:00 PM, | 14 comments

Postponed

Sunday, May 11, 2008
For the last two weeks we've been receiving lots of visitors, some come in the morning when I'm in college and some come in the afternoon. Mom can't do all the work herself since she has to sit with the visitors and so one of us (me and HNK) has to be there to help, and sometimes the two of us. From 4:30 till 7 and sometimes 8 PM the house is never empty of guests. I come back from college at around 3, take a nap and wakeup to get dressed again and help. When it's all over I just can't study.. I try but can't manage more than an hour of reading. Thankfully we haven't been taking much this week so it wasn't very bad, which is why I was obliged to work more than HNK who had exams.

D -my classmate- came up with an idea that he hesitatingly proposed and got the satisfaction of the class. He thought we should have a 2-hour break, have lunch and do some activities (jokes, poems, ..). My friends were very excited but having been socializing non-stop lately, unlike them, I wasn't excited at all. It was only the fact that we're going to have la7m b3ajeen for lunch (which I have been craving for for say.. 4 years!) that made me willing to attend. The party was scheduled on Sunday after 12 o'clock and was agreed on by the head of the department, the students did their best to get my approval.

La7m b3ajeen, a peace of paste with meat, tomatoes and onion as toppings.. since I don't eat tomatoes nor onion, I was under the impression that I was going to hate it and so never tasted it until I was around 14, and then I just fell in love with it. It has to be from the suq though, and straight from the oven.. and it would be heavenly if it had a well-shaken egg on top of it making it ever more delicious.. Just writing about it makes me smell it. Upon complaining about having not eaten it for ages, dad said that he'd take me to eat after the war.. of course I started laughing and told him there was no need to continue.

My day-dreaming about La7m b3ajeen for the last few days made me worried that it might not taste like it used to.. maybe the shop they'll buy it from won't be as good as the one dad used to buy it from.. maybe it'll get all pasty or maybe there will be large un-ignorable pieces of onion.. I was growing less and less excited about the party.

On Friday night they announced a curfew until further notice. I finally had time to study. I had to write a report for the lab and they told us it was not allowed to type it this time, it has to be hand-written. It was about counters. It was very annoying to draw all the block diagrams and timing diagrams by hand.. and by the time I came to the experiment results I was under the strong impression that the results weren't accurate at all.. As I got to the discussion questions, I was actually praying the "further notice" wouldn't be tomorrow. I desperately needed to check the results with the graduate students working in the lab and the la7m b3ajeen is so not going to meet my standards!
Time went by and there were no news whatsoever of the curfew.. I wrote a whining message for my friend who replied whinigly as well saying she didn't finish the report either and that she thinks the curfew would still be on, and that was that..

Now it's Sunday, 12:30PM, I'm trying to convince myself that I really need not worry about the report till next week but my head just can't help not thinking about it.. and after writing this post I really really want to eat la7m b3ajeen :((

My sister and her husband have rented a house in a suburb near Mosul where they both have to work for some time.. They went there with few of their belongings to check the place and now they're stuck.

Dad is doing very well.. his next operation was scheduled on the 15th next month, I could only wonder who's put a curse on my when I heard the date, that's right in the middle of the finals! Upon seeing the frightened faces of HNK and myself dad decided to put off the operation until the end of the exams thankfully.

Other than the gossip and rumors, Mosul has been very quiet these last two days.. I'm hoping the curfew wouldn't last long or else we aren't going to finish the curriculum and the finals might be put off too and we'd be so doomed! Planning is such an impossibility here.
 
posted by Najma at 12:48 PM, | 9 comments

Good News

Friday, May 02, 2008
In the midst of the war and all the bad news we hear everyday, I have grown rather accustomed to bad news, the good news are the ones that affect me most.
It's true that I get depressed quite often but I find myself a most optimistic person. The full half of the glass is all I look at most of the time, always ignoring the presence of the ever-devastating empty half.
I think I have actually locked up that part of me that feels sad and vulnerable long time ago.

I was in college last year when I read an SMS from my cousin giving me condolences on the loss of my grandfather, that was a shock because I didn't even know he was dead then, but I was expecting this everyday. I only shed few tears and then waited in silence for the driver to come. Even those classmates who were standing by me didn't know I have just heard of my grandfather's death, only one who asked me why I looked so grave then. All I could think of was that he is finally resting and free now.

Few days ago when I heard about dad's illness, then too I only shed few tears that nobody noticed either. Dad looked strong, mom looked strong, there's no use in crying so let's just live it through and it shall pass. And if it wasn't for the long time of waiting before the exam, not even my close friends would've known about it.

Yesterday we got the biopsy results, it showed a stage A cancer (Luke's classification), this means that dad would probably be in no need for chemotherapy inshallah. We were very thankful it ended at that and nothing worse.

A surgeon relative was changing dad's bandages yesterday when I passed by the room and noticed mom trying to avoid looking at the wound and seemed very disgusted so I volunteered instead. I inspected the wound and the colostomy and learned few new interesting things that I am going to brag about as long as I can.. HNK is so going to hate me!
Mom admired my strong heart.. but I doubt I even have one.
Whatever your fate is, whatever the hell happens, you say, “This is what I need.” It may look like a wreck, but go at it as though it were an opportunity, a challenge. If you bring love to that moment—not discouragement—you will find the strength there. Any disaster you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life. What a privilege!! This is when the spontaneity of your own nature will have a chance to flow. Then, when looking back at your life, you will see that the moments which seemed to be great failures, followed by wreckage, were the incidents that shaped the life you have now. You’ll see this is really true. Nothing can happen to you that is not positive. Even though it looks and feels at the moment like a negative crisis, it is not. The crisis throws you back, and when you are required to exhibit strength, it comes.

~ Joseph Campbell
 
posted by Najma at 2:20 PM, | 18 comments